Monday – Jesus, I Will Ponder Now

The disciples did not understand any of this. Its meaning was hidden from them, and they did not know what he was talking about. (Luke 18:34)


What is the right word for Holy Week?

Fill in the blank: “Jesus, I will _______ now.” Pretty easy for us, because we know the whole story. We know the great hymn. But what about when we are confused and frustrated with what God is saying and doing?

Jesus’ disciples did know the whole story beforehand. In the verses before the reading above (and before Passion Week started), Jesus reported to his followers the vivid and specific verbs people would choose for him: mock . . . insult . . . spit . . . . flog . . . and kill. He also gave the needed context: everything . . . written . . . will be fulfilled (Luke18:31-33).

How did the disciples, then, over the next days fill in the blanks? “Jesus, I will . . . boast”!? Argue. Sleep. Start swinging a sword. Run away. Deny. Hide. They knew the story. They heard and saw the whole thing, but they didn’t understand.

How do we fill in the blank? What’s the verb we choose when the world collapses around us? When the diagnosis buckles our knees and hurts in places the technicians didn’t scan. When the phone call or email doesn’t fit in a life governed by an all-loving and all-powerful God. “Jesus, I will . . . rage . . . crash . . . weep now”?

Or perhaps we take a quieter approach. “Jesus, I will . . . observe . . . analyze . . . scrutinize your passion now.” These words sound better, but they are distant, cold, and clinical.

What is the right word for Holy Week, when part of the world wants to spit on and flog the mystery of God dying? What’s the right word when the other part would rather look away from the gross pit into which our sins have tossed the Savior? “Stricken, smitten, and afflicted” sound right, but those belong to Jesus.

What is the right word for us? We don’t “observe” an earthquake, do we? We don’t “analyze” the rhetoric of Jesus answering the authorities. We don’t “study” samples of wine, spit, and blood. We don’t “evaluate” an empty tomb. We can’t “validate” or “prove” it either.

Mary (or Luke) chose the right word 30 years earlier, when the Savior’s incredible, bloody, and transcendent earthly life began. “Jesus, I will ponder now on thy holy passion.”

“Ponder” opens up the power and horror and glory of this week. Ponder the cross and the road leading up to it. And listen to the other actions in this great hymn: “meditate . . . cherish . . . crown . . . grieve . . . renew . . . learn . . . sing your praise forever.”

Dear Lord, this Holy Week grant me the penetrating eyes of faith so I will see my sins but thrill at what Jesus has done for me. Amen.


Rev. Brian Dose serves Martin Luther College as a professor of English.

1. Jesus, I will ponder now
On your holy passion;
With your Spirit me endow
For such meditation.
Grant that I in love and faith
May the image cherish
Of your suffering, pain, and death
That I may not perish.

2. Make me see your great distress,
Anguish, and affliction,
Bonds and stripes and wretchedness
And your crucifixion;
Make me see how scourge and rod,
Spear and nails did wound you,
How for them you died, O God,
Who with thorns had crowned you.

3. Yet, O Lord, not thus alone
Make me see your passion,
But its cause to me make known
And its termination.
Ah! I also and my sin
Wrought your deep affliction;
This indeed the cause has been
Of your crucifixion.

4. If my sins give me alarm
And my conscience grieve me,
Let your cross my fear disarm;
Peace of conscience give me.
Help me see forgiveness won
By your holy passion.
If for me he slays his Son,
God must have compassion.

5. Grant that I your passion view
With repentant grieving.
Let me not bring shame to you
By unholy living.
How could I refuse to shun
Every sinful pleasure
Since for me God’s only Son
Suffered without measure?

6. Graciously my faith renew;
Help me bear my crosses,
Learning humbleness from you,
Peace mid pain and losses.
May I give you love for love!
Hear me, O my Savior,
That I may in heaven above
Sing your praise forever.